Questions From a Non-Nudist Mom On Nudist Etiquette, Home Nudism, & Kids
We recently received an email that we feel would be interesting to share. She is looking for insight and opinions so please make sure to leave comments on this site and not on Facebook (so she can see what people think).
A Non Nudist Mom Needs Our Help!
Here is her email:
I am writing to you hoping for your input regarding a situation in my life involving nudity. (Poll your friends, if you want also, I am happy to have more than one person’s feedback.)
I am trying to determine whether my perspective on a situation needs to be examined. I also would like to get a feel if my beliefs and feelings are due to my being almost exclusively living and interacting in a textile environment.
This is the situation.
Due to many tragic circumstances in my life in the past year or so, I have become homeless. I have a 12 year old son that is currently living with my sister, which was my choice and I made it in order to provide him with a safer and more stable living situation than I can currently provide (as I have been staying with friends in their small apartment).
For background, whether it’s relevant or not, I was never exposed to much family nudity growing up. I remember seeing my mother nude on occasion, but not my father (and I had two sisters, but no brothers). I never thought about it much, but raised my two sons and daughters in the same way since I never was comfortable just walking around the house completely nude. That said, I have been casual, yet private, about being nude in front of them.
As each one of my children reached puberty, they became more private about being nude around me and each other. I never told them that it was unacceptable to be nude around the house. I have told them that the human body is natural and beautiful, but mostly it wasn’t something I ever thought much about. Even now, with my youngest son (aforementioned twelve year old boy), if we are in the same room, and I want to change clothes, I will say something like, “I’m going to change now, just so you know, if you want to choose to look the other way.” The other day he was visiting, and he wanted to change clothes, and asked me to leave the room. I lightheartedly dismissed his overly modest request, and told him that I would look the other way if he wanted me to, and I did. He was fine with that.
I have known that two of my friends are more comfortable with social nudity than I am and it hasn’t been an issue. I view it as a personal choice. I was told the first time I ever came to their house, that they have a clothing optional home. No biggie. The wife is more likely than husband to walk around completely nude. The husband has children from a previous marriage, and their policy has been that to avoid issues that could be caused by his ex wife. When his kids are visiting, the wife will wear at least a tank top and panties when in view of his kids. When my son has come to visit, the policy has been the same.
This couple is purchasing a large house. A couple of months ago they invited myself and my son to live there with them too and for as long as I wanted / needed. That was awesome and generous and I have been really looking forward to being with my son again after a year of living apart.
A couple of weeks ago, the wife asked me whether I planned on talking to my son about living in a clothing optional environment, or whether I would just handle it as it occurred (such as seeing her being nude around the house in front of him). I was very surprised, as I had assumed that the current policy regarding nudity around children would continue. That’s what I was used to and hadn’t thought about things potentially being different. I talked to the husband alone and he assumed the same. It was apparent at that point, that there was a communication breakdown and that they had to work out between the two of them what their policy was going to be. I waited for them to do so and come talk to me about it once they were on the same page.
After they spoke, the wife said that she never thought that simple nudity would be an issue for me or my son. That said, now that she is aware of them, she said that while she would like to promise that she wouldn’t be nude around him. She did not feel comfortable to promise that she wouldn’t forget to put on minimal clothing when he was around. To be clear, she said she would try to remember, but that she couldn’t promise. She didn’t want to promise something unless she knew she could do it. She said that there have been times, she had nearly walked out of her bedroom naked when her husband’s kids were visiting. Her husband quickly reminded her to cover up and she did.
Since that conversation, I have been researching the nudist and naturist lifestyles. I have been reading opinions and whatever I can find on the internet to help me better understand the situation. This has led me to you.
My concerns go beyond my son’s father. I have family members who would not hesitate to call CPS (Child Protective Services) if they became aware that my son was living in a home where a female adult was naked around him. I could likely find myself in family court for custody issues over this and I want to get more information before I make any decision.
The issues that I am having a hard time understanding are as follows:
- The idea that a person could somehow “forget” to put on clothes is extremely foreign to me. Is this something that some nudists have experienced in the past?
- I have concerns about how difficult it would be for my son to adjust to a clothing optional environment at his age (puberty).
- Does it make a difference that it would not be his mom who would be naked, but an unrelated adult woman whom he hasn’t spent a lot of time with?
- I am surprised that she didn’t imagine that it would have repercussions for me or my son – is this common among the nudist community?
I want perspective and don’t know how much my concerns are due to my textile life experience. Any feedback, thoughts, or opinions would be very, very much appreciated. I am hoping that your experiences would be helpful to me in some way.
So there you have it. A non nudist is reaching out and trying to understand. Let’s take a moment and try to help her!