Ask Nudie Lee: When to Reveal Your Nudie Side

| February 28, 2014 | 4 Comments

Nudie Lee Gives Advice On When to Reveal Your Nudie Self in a New Relationship

nudie side new relationship dating nudist naturist ask nudie lee
Q.
I’m at the start of a relationship. When’s the best time to tell him/her that you are a naturist, or that you like to participate in nude recreation?

A.
Congrats on the new love. This is a tricky question, my fellow nudie. I’m not sure I have the scientific answer to this, but I will lay out a few options. You know your partner better than I do, and I am confident you will choose the correct path in opening up to them.

As I tell most of my readers, the first thing a naturist needs to understand is that non-naturists usually have a hard time understanding the dynamic of a nudie lifestyle. Most people brought up in North America are taught to be ashamed of their nakedness and that most nudity leads to sex. You and I both know this isn’t the case, but it’s hard to ignore the facts of our society.

You do not want to make your partner feel as if you omitted this “fact” about yourself in order to get what you wanted (i.e. sex) or with the intent of lying to them. Any relationship expert would/will tell you to be honest from the get-go, which in any case can’t be a bad idea. We nudies, on the other hand, know what it is to be judged wrongfully for our way of life.

Your two options go as follows:

  1. In the process of talking about yourself on your first few dates, bring up the fact that you are a naturist, and explain to your new flame (always without preaching!) what naturism entails and where you got it from (I got it from my mama!). If you are met with disdain and horror, maybe it is best for both of you to not follow through. If you are met with interest and questions about naturism, thank the stars (silently) and oblige. Then ask them about themselves. You can talk more about naturism on your next date!
  2. Date as any other people date. Get to know each other (but not all of each other). Build a solid foundation. Bring up your thoughts on bodies, on sex, on life. Once you feel secure in this new relationship, bring up that side of you. Make sure you do not make a big deal out of it (as if you are letting a cat out of the bag). This is who you are. By then, you will have exposed all sides of yourself. All the cards will be on the table. Both of you will have to make a decision on your relationship at this point. Will they accept the naturist in you?

At the end of the day, both of you will have to decide what is most important in your own lives, and what you think is crucial to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself, and with your new partner.

All the best,

Nudie Lee

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Category: Naked Dating Advice

About the Author ()

Part-time writer, part-time barista, and highly opinionated, Nudie Lee bursts onto the scene! Forged in a far-off land of frigid temperatures, large vicious animals, and universal health care, she is here to help with all of your dating and relationship questions.
  • ktania421

    Good advice. I followed the both, that first dating then revealing my interest in nudity. It was slow, convincing and simple conversation. My friend was initially surprised then accepted my arguments, desires and wishes. I asked if he didn’t mind to allow me took off clothes (we were in his apartment). He said OK. So I was totally nude. But I refrained to demand same gesture from him. Sooner he was there without clothes. It was really very comfortable, refreshing and relaxing beginning.

  • Al Mahany

    @j238 I agree,  Don’t act like it is something she might reject.  Present it with confidence and a natural air like you expect her to say Yes.

  • j238

    Disagree with this.

    Avoid labels such a nudist, naturist, lifestyle, etc.  Don’t make a big “reveal.”  

    I know people who’ve had a good time in a clothing optional environment.  None of them describe themselves in those terms. 

    When the weather is is warm, or an indoor opportunity comes up, mention this as an activity that the two of you can share.  “On Saturday we can spend the day waiting for tickets for Shakespeare in the Park, on the other hand, we can take the ferry to Gunnison…” 

    Do what you can to make this a happy experience and the odds just may turn in your favor.

  • Ian James Patterson

    Right off the bat!