How To Be A Sex Positive Person

| April 2, 2013 | 10 Comments

Ways to Have A Sex Positive Attitude

Sex positive Guest Blog by: Sarah Dowless

Being sex positive is important for your own life, your partner’s life and really, everyone you know as it ultimately makes you a confident, respectful and open-minded person. But what exactly is being sex positive? In its simplest form, sex positive is an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all sexual activities as healthy and pleasurable and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.

Need a little more of an explanation? Be sure to check out the post we wrote about sex positivity and the nudist community.

Anyhow, becoming sex positive can be hard for people. We may not be able to wrap our mind around certain facets or emotions. Maybe we were born to think a certain way or maybe we just haven’t learned how to love ourselves yet.

Whatever the case may be, there is absolutely room for improvement and with time, everyone can become a little more sex positive, even the most sex positive among us! Check out some of these tips and techniques for re-framing your attitude towards sex.

The first and most important step to becoming sex positive is to know who you are and what you want from your body, your sex life, etc. You can’t begin to be open, expressive and welcoming of others if you yourself do not accept who you are.

Spend time getting to know your body, get comfortable in your own skin and stop judging yourself based on what you look like. Being sex positive means you love all bodies for what they look like and that means yours, too. Fat shaming, thin shaming or any kind of body shaming of another person runs counter to the sex positive movement and will only hurt others.

Plus, there’s another reason to love your body. Some recent research showed that women with positive body image have better sex! It’s likely the same goes for men, too.

sex positive sexuality keep calm YNA

Be Sex Positive !

You also want to make sure you have a good understanding of your actual self, so also take the time to really learn what gets you turned on, what feels good and how you react. If this is a new thing for you, consider getting a toy or lube to really get you going. Use some of these Adam and Eve coupon codes to save yourself some money.

Secondly, you need to ditch the negativity. Stop looking at sex in terms of whether it’s slutty or not or thinking that certain fetishes are dirty and wrong. There is nothing dirty, slutty or wrong about sex as long as it’s occurring between consensual adults.

People are into different things — that’s what makes our world go round. This one might take awhile, as you will literally have to change the way you think.

Practice stopping yourself every time you want to make a judgment against someone else or yourself because of a sexual choice. If you find your friend or partner is judging you for how you look, or for your sexual choices, either make them aware of it so they stop, or simply get rid of that toxic relationship.

And last, in the same vein as above, you will want to stop categorizing some sex as more superior than others. Such as the idea that hetero-sex is better than homo-sex.

Once again, as long as it’s consensual, no sex is better than the other. All sex is equal. You might also want to educate yourself about different genders (beyond male and female), lifestyles and sexual orientations.

This is merely the beginning and is far from being an all-inclusive list. You can check out more ways to be sex positive by Laci Green, and you should never be afraid to reach out for outside help if you’re dealing with something you don’t think you can handle on your own.

Becoming sex positive can and will take some time. Just be patient with yourself and continue to work in the right direction.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored blog post. Opinions expressed here are in line with YNA’s philosophy.

Sex Positive And Body Image Blogs by – Young Naturists And Nudists America YNA

Tags: ,

Category: Sex Positive, Social Activism

About the Author ()

Author of Felicity's Blog. Co-founder of Young Naturists America. 3rd-generation nudie. Avid reader. Feminist. 70% vegan, 30% vegetarian. When I'm not busy eating, I'm writing about naturism, censorship, topfree equality, body image and other fun topics. I like feedback, so plz leave a comment when you've got something to say!
  • zharth

    @ChristianaG I would go even one step further. The very format of the statement “there is nothing shameful about sex *as long as*…” seems specifically designed to shame anything that does not fall under the speaker’s rubric of “good sex”. Example: “There is absolutely nothing shameful whatsoever about sex as long as it is occurring between married partners of opposite sex.” A shaming statement designed to sound like an accepting one. Is there something shameful about sex or not? Restricting it to certain populations seems to suggest that there is. That doesn’t sound truly sex-positive – more sex-cautious. It’s important that sex be engaged in safely involving consenting and informed participants, but stating that certain types of people having sex is automatically “bad” independent of those concerns suggests a sinister side to sex, which is anything but sex-positive. Furthermore, sex positives ought to be aware of the fact that “sex” involves a whole host of more and less risky and invasive activities beyond penetrative intercourse.

  • ChristianaG

    As a long-time far-from-young naturist I totally appreciate this post, and I agree with the need to have this conversation. But I fully resent the concept that any kind of sex is fine as long as “it’s occurring between two consenting adults.” The author makes a good case for total acceptance of a multitude of tastes and then completely blows her case away by saying that two is the only number of people that can acceptably enjoy sex together.Yes, consenting adults is correct. But I know a great number of triples and quads who would disagree with the statement that excludes them from an otherwise inclusive article.

    • Christiana, point noted. The specific number has been removed so that it can apply to any number of consenting adults.

  • Stephen Ziegler

    As open minded and liberal as they like to claim to be, naturists in general can be pretty uptight about certain things. Most may be accepting of differences in sexual orientation the same as they might be with gender or race but when it comes to matters of sexuality I think a lot of them are scared to death. It’s still one of those big scarry subjects that they would prefer to be hidden away in the closet. I imagine that a lot of it has to do with generational differences. It’s a little confusing considering the message of acceptance that is constantly preached by some of the more vocal participants. Honestly I don’t know how what I choose to do and who I choose to do it with has anything to do with anything but it is still pretty important to some folks. Especially when you’re open about it and talk about it in the context of or in conjunction with naturism.

  • Christopher Judson

    Yes, I will agree in saying that naturists like ourselves accept others sexual orientation and sexual choices. I agree with what YOU’RE saying but I will DISAGREE with the writer of the article. She’s essentially recommending us to masturbate with toys and lube. Surely we know the benefits to masturbation and sex but I personally think its an inappropriate topic for a naturist website. Maybe we can just agree to disagree on this one?

  • Felicity’s Blog

    We do make that distinction between nudity & sexuality over and over again. We have educational articles galore making that point as well as clearly defined rules at events. Writing one such article does not negate all of that. Who’s going to visit our website, read that one article & conclude from it that naturism is all about sex? You have to be incredibly simple-minded to not understand the difference between naturism & sex-positivity. But the most important part about the sex-positive movement for us is the acceptance aspect – not judging others for their sexual choices. Our philosophy of acceptance includes sexual orientation & sexual choices, and we believe naturist clubs should not discriminate based on either. Furthermore, if people in this country weren’t so hung up on sex & filled w/sexual shame, we might actually have a much easier time as naturists.

  • Christopher Judson

    For young adults yes. However it’s also very important to recognize the separation of nudity and sexuality. I like naturism, and I’m no stranger to… Sexually exploring my body, but I know them as two separate things. It’s seems very hard to promote naturism and sex positive/sexuality together.

  • Felicity’s Blog

    What’s the concern guys? I think naturists are allowed to be sex positive and to talk about being sex positive, no? Who says that’s not allowed? It’s 2013. For anyone who thinks it’s not ok, time to get with the program already.

  • Stephen Ziegler

    I love Laci Green but yeah, can’t wait to see how much of a mess this stirs up.

  • Christopher Judson

    Sure this is a good thing but I’d be really careful about how and who you talk to about this. It’s a nice thing to post on Facebook but I wouldn’t start talking to a bunch of other nudists in public about this :p