Polyamory and Living Life with Many Loves
(this articles was updated on 5/20/2016)
We have recently noticed a trend where certain groups may be more open to nudism and naturism than others. We all know the 30/30 theory where it’s estimated that 30% of swingers are nudists and visa versa. But there are a few other groups of people that seem to have a more open-minded approach. One such group of people that has been connecting with YNA are coming from the polyamory community.
It seems like this new relationship model has been getting more and more attention as of late. So we decided we would do some research.
What Polyamory is all about:
Polyamory is a term that dates back to the 1990’s. At the most basic level, the word means “many loves.” Polyamory, or poly as it is often called, is a relationship model in which people have multiple committed relationships at the same time. Poly relationships have been around for a long time, though it has not always been named or been as accepted as it is at this point.
Polyamory is a type of ethical non-monogamous loving relationship. It’s different from swinging, which is more so about casual, recreational sex in open relationships. Polyamory endorses committed loving relationships that are founded on romance instead of just sexual gratification and motivation. However, it is important to remember that polyamory is also an umbrella term itself; encompassing many different types of relationships and people.
For example, polyfidelity refers to a version where there are more than two people involve romantically in a relationship, but the relationship is closed to outsiders or new partners. Other relationships let new people in very quickly and easily.
Polyamory is a system that encourages a great deal of flexibility and a lot of conscious relationship building. Every relationship has its own unique set of rules and simply because a person chooses to call themselves polyamorous does not mean that they expect or want the same things as other people who identify the same way. It is up to the people in the relationship to set the boundaries, rules and behavior etiquette.
Some people wonder if all of the people in a polyamorous relationship have sex with one another. The answer to that question should be “if they want to and if everyone is comfortable with it.” Being polyamorous simply means that you can build multiple romantic relationships; it does not state who you sleep with or who you must be involved with.
The Term “Polyamory”
A relationship or a person can be defined as polyamorous. Some people choose to use polyamorous as a term defining their relationship pattern… contrasting themselves with people who state that they are monogamous.
Issues with Polyamory and Jealousy
It is a mistake to believe that people in polyamorous relationships never feel jealous. Jealousy, like anything else, is a human emotion and a natural one at that. Some people feel it more than others. But even people who feel jealousy on a regular basis can be polyamorous. In a polyamorous relationship, jealousy is seen as an emotion, but the person feeling it is in control of it. They may work on processing the emotion on their own or with their partner or their partner’s partner. At the end of the end day, poly people believe that jealousy is something that can be worked through as long as there is open and brutally honest lines of communication. For poly people, jealousy is not seen as an unstoppable force that must be heeded but rather a road block that can be dealt with and overcome.
Getting On Board the Polyamory Train
Polyamory is a system that relies on a great deal of communication between all the people involved. If you feel that you are interested in this type of open relationship, especially when you are already with someone, you must be honest with yourself and with your partner. It is never a good idea to open your relationship on a whim because of problems you can create between you and your current partner.
You must be very clear about what you want and what shape you want future relationships to take. Some couples look for partners that will suit both of them. Some individuals choose to identify as solo poly, where they are not part of a core couple but instead will date independently and as they choose to do so.
Polyamory is not a relationship system that will work for everyone. It is a system that can be altered, molded and changed to suit the people involved. Because it is not the standard relationship model, fewer assumptions can ever be made about a polyamorous relationship. Clear and constant communication for all involved is a must, otherwise it simply won’t work.