Body Image Struggles And Feeling Good About Myself
(This Body Image Struggles blog was written by a guest blogger)
Body Image Struggles – Growing up in a world of judgment can often be difficult for anyone and as an aspiring makeup artist I was always pulled into the world of fashion quite strongly. Everything about fashion drew me to study, collect, and flip through fashion magazines.
I held onto those magazines as if they were gold. Not only did they help me understand fashion and gain an understanding of trends, it also left me thinking that the models in those magazines were the substance for beauty.
For years these images had been my resource for what beautiful is, and I always modeled my weight and look after them. But then something happened to me that I didn’t expect… I tied the knot!
For me being married at a young age wasn’t only stressful, it was difficult. My focus changed from trying to subside in the world of fashion, to trying to make a marriage survive. As the first year was coming to a close, the craziest thing happened… I gained fifty pounds! To my surprise, every pound of that weight was met without noticing until one day I looked in the mirror and was horrified about the way I looked. I tried everything from rash dieting, pills, tons of exercising and I only managed to lose about twenty of those new pounds.
In the beginning, my body image struggles were so bad that I couldn’t stand the way my body looked and I tried to dress the same way I did previously, but that was not a good idea. I realized that I needed to change my wardrobe. I wasn’t happy with myself in the nude and felt as if I was going to be judged for the way I looked.
One day I was searching around the internet and came across a beautiful full-sized girl. This girl was shaped similar to me and wasn’t moping around feeling sorry for herself. She boldly portrayed her body as something that was as perfect as any other body. It turned out, with further investigation, that she was a lingerie model. Something clicked that day in my head. Through her intense confidence she led me to believe she had one of the most amazing bodies in the world. I decided to strip down and took an intense look in the mirror and to my surprise I was consumed with confidence.
All of a sudden, I found that my imperfections had become the parts of my body that I was most confident in. Although I do consider myself plus-sized, I rock my body with confidence. Today, getting naked for photo shoots is simple, and it is all thanks to a change in myself. It is as if I am displaying to others that I love my body, and the fears and shame took a back seat to my newly found confidence.
I want to spend my time just relaxing with the body I have, and not worrying that people might judge me. I guess in a way, I have become a believer in nudism and in the nudist ideals.