Body Image Struggles and Eating Disorders
( Guest Body Image and Eating Disorders Blog By Melissa Dejanude )
One Girl’s Personal Battle With Eating Disorders and Body Image:
Body Image and Eating Disorders – I have always been self-conscious about my body. Growing up, I had developed eating disorders – both anorexia and bulimia. The symptoms of these disorders began back when I was a teenager. I believe I was in either eighth or ninth grade at the time. I was also involved in the sport of competitive gymnastics too, which really did nothing but provide fuel for the eating disorders.
I had a very realistic goal of going to the Olympics and actually competed against Marylou Retton back in the 1980’s. Involvement in such a sport makes you constantly obsessed about how you look. What you weigh is an obsession you wake up with every morning. Needless to say, I ended up developing a distorted body image of myself and other people as well. The very idea of becoming fat or unpleasant looking was just not acceptable in my eyes.
My father was also a violent alcoholic while I was growing up as well. He used to scare me half to death just about every day of my life and was always telling me how worthless and stupid I was. This, of course, also lead to the self-esteem issues. My self confidence went right out the window.
When I went to school, I used to try and cover my upper body up with a big sweater. I would wear double shirts to try to conceal my waist as I thought I was totally fat and disgusting. I did not want anyone to see any part of me let alone let anyone to see me naked.
In gym class, I refused to change my clothes in front of the other girls. I would hide in the bathroom to get out of having to take a shower and be naked in front of anyone as I did not feel comfortable doing this in any way whatsoever.
Keep in mind that at the time all of this was happening to me, I was at a weight of about 93 pounds. When I looked at myself in the mirror, all I could see was areas in need of improvement.
Once reaching the age of 18, I suddenly had a boyfriend somehow, but that ended quickly since there were sexual issues in my part. These issues with distorted body image and low self-esteem went on for about 15 years until I reached the age of 30.
When I look back at it all now and look at pictures from back then of myself or others, I cannot believe how thin I looked. My mind was really messed up back then. No doubt about it.
This article about Eating Disorders and body image was published by – Young Nudists and Naturists America YNA