Ask Nudie Lee: How Do I Confront My Nudist Parents?

| December 12, 2014 | 12 Comments

How Do I tell My Secretive Nudist Parents That We Enjoy The Same Thing?

Q.
I have enjoyed going nude ever since I can remember, but I wasn’t raised a nudist. It wasn’t uncommon to see my parents in their underwear, but that’s it. When I was around 14, my parents caught me going nude and I explained to them that I like to be naked when they’re not home. They just told me to be careful when I do it and my dad told me to just make sure my mom was never around for it because it’s “not acceptable” to go naked around family. But that was the end of it. So the feeling I got from them was it’s ok to be naked but not around your family (for some reason it seems they can’t wrap their head around family nudism). Since then any conversation about nudism, especially about them or me, has not come up. I personally have absolutely no objections to family nudism and feel that it’s great when a family can experience nudism together. To be honest I always wish I grew up in a nudist family so I wouldn’t have to hide it.

Anyway I continued going naked as much as I could and started going to the nude beach when I turned 17. Well today I went to the beach and when I was looking for a parking spot, I passed my parents car….Turns out they were there at the nude beach! I spotted them from afar and could see they were naked.

nudist parents son family nudism naturism nude beach ask nudie lee advice yna

Now I’m not sure how I should approach the situation and if I should let them know I enjoy going to the beach too, or just let it go. I stayed away from them and kind of hid because I was initially shocked and worried how they would react to seeing me there. I love going to the nude beach and go every opportunity I can. My parents also always talk about going to the beach, I just didn’t know until recently they also went to the nude one. In addition, due to the dark all-over tan, it is evident they go to the nude beach often and therefore, the chances of me seeing them there again are probably very good. I no longer live at home with them but was wondering how I should approach this situation and if I should let them know I enjoy the same beach. I personally think it’s very cool that my parents are also interested in nudism and wish I knew years ago so I wouldn’t have had to hide it.

But I don’t know if they were nudists back when I was a teenager, or if this is a more recent thing for them.

Naked Family Picture With Naturist Nudist Parents

Naked Family Picture With Naturist Nudist Parents

My only concern is how they will react if they see me there. Since it is the winter now, should I just try to bring up a casual conversation about enjoying being naked and going to the beach? Or should I wait until the summer and see if I run into them again at the beach… if I do, should I hide? Or walk right up to them? Or go a less direct way and maybe “just so happen to be” walking by the water or getting out of the water when they’re doing the same and “accidentally” bump into them? That way we can all have an equal shock factor and possibly discuss our mutual love for being at the nude beach. Please let me know what you think, all of your advice will be greatly appreciated.

— Son of Secret Nudist Parents

A.
Dear Son of Secret Nudist Parents,

You’ve got yourself a premise for a pretty funny movie!

In all seriousness, I truly believe that you must respect your parents’ wishes when it comes to family nudism. If your father told you your mother wasn’t comfortable with it, I’m sure she has her reasons. As a woman, your mother goes through the same insecurities as we all do, and maybe those are brought to the surface when confronted with nudity in a family setting. Some other women might be uncomfortable with the idea of their grown daughter being naked in front of other men.

A lot of nudies prefer keeping their naked selves a secret, for whatever reason seems right to them. They might be ashamed of it, or they might get a rush from it when it is shared only with their partner (in this case, your father sharing it with your mother).

I wouldn’t suggest confronting them at the beach because it seems to be their little haven, and you wouldn’t want to take that away from them. You could, on the other hand, bring up the “no tan lines” in a funny/joking (but loving) way when you are all together. But if they deny it, let it be. We should never impose our ways on others and as much as you seem to want to share this with them, if they are not open to it, then that settles it.

Count your blessings that your parents never told you it wasn’t ok to be naked, and that you were able to grow and love your naked self. Not everyone is as lucky as you, and some others are luckier. That’s just the way life is, isn’t it?

See you at the beach!

Love,
Nudie Lee xx

What do you think, readers? What sort of advice would you give in this situation?

Young Naturists & Nudists America

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Category: Naked Dating Advice

About the Author ()

Part-time writer, part-time barista, and highly opinionated, Nudie Lee bursts onto the scene! Forged in a far-off land of frigid temperatures, large vicious animals, and universal health care, she is here to help with all of your dating and relationship questions.
  • AmyHi1 I hope he didn’t mean “confront” in the sense of oppose or challenge, but rather to get face to face in a nudist situation, which is why so many of us suggested he just walk up and say hello.

  • AmyHi1

    Why do you need to “confront”( to oppose or challenge) them at all ?Just mention you enjoy that beach and ask if they would like to go with you sometime since you saw them  there and you looked to be having fun . Then its either yes or no why make it wired over something they said when you were 14 things change  (or they don’t). However  respect  their views  even if the answer is not the one you want.

  • j238

    It all comes down to personal comfort level. 
    How do you feel about engaging a relative/friend/co-worker at a nude beach?  How do you expect they would react?
    If you think everyone will be comfortable all around, go ahead say hi.
    If not, it’s time to use those avoidance techniques. 
    In my own case, I only once saw someone I know at a nude beach.  The circumstance definitely ruled out any form of engagement.  
    Someone I know, has scheduled nude beach visits only when she knew certain people had other plans.

  • SunCple

    cutenfeisty SunCple Ah… understood.

  • cutenfeisty

    SunCple  I wasn’t referring to your comment, but the advice left by Nudie Lee. I would have replied to your comment specifically if it was.

  • I don’t know these people at all but if I saw someone I knew at the nude beach and we were all nude I would just walk right up to them and say “hi.”  It would level the playing field and get all the secrecy and make-believe lies out of the way in a hurry.

  • SunCple

    Wow…. I’m WAY off base?  Cloak and dagger?  :-)  Seriously?  Bowing out then.  Peace.

  • cutenfeisty

    I think your advice is way off base. I too was in a similar situation. I started in naturism in my late 20s… my parents in their 50s. My mom was uncomfortable with me and my father in each other’s presence and tried to go to the beach on an alternate day. My father and I could have cared less…
    There did come a time when we would be there at the same time. I told them where I sat and that they had a choice of whether or not to sit near me. To quote what I said to mom “If you can’t stand the heat, stay off the beach!” I wasn’t going to switch my days.
    Eventually, there came a day that my dad walked up to me… mom following behind. The awkwardness lasted all of 2 minutes…  mom offered me lemonade and a sandwich and it was over.

    From then on, my parents and I had more in common.. something we enjoyed doing together. I even started to spend more time with them, including vacationing, which I had given up in my teens.
    The whole cloak and dagger scene you’re presenting only furthers the idea that naturism is a bad thing… when it clearly is not.
    Amen to livefyrebob’s statement… the truth will set you free!

  • SunCple

    I would have a textile conversation with them.  Not that you saw them at the beach, but that you’ve found that you enjoy nudism and will probably be going to nude beaches in the future.  They shouldn’t be too shocked, after all, they do it too.  It doesn’t have to be a confrontation.  Just an informational discussion.  This way they know that there is a possibility they will see you at the beach and they can decide whether or not they wish to continue going.  Hopefully they’ll confess their penchant for social nudity as well and you can all have a chuckle and a discussion on nature vs. nurture. :-)

  • livefyrebob

    the truth will set you free

  • All-Nudist.com

    Son of Secret Nudist Parents – Send them a link to this article then leave it up to them.  They’re the adults and have intentionally or not set the rules.  If they don’t respond to you about it, take that for their answer.
    It’s not unusual for nudist parents (or kids) to feel uncomfortable nude around other people they know, especially family.  Why?  It doesn’t matter.  But we must respect others’ wishes in this area.  Forcing our nudity on folks is not the way to endear them to us!

  • AlanChristensen

    I would say you missed a perfect opportunity you should have just walked up to them at the beach! Perfect opportunity! Come out already fess up and let them know you saw them at the beach, if you’re not comfortable seeing each other nude then coordinate your days there so you don’t go there on the same day.