A Guest Blog about Girlhood Adolescence And Sexuality
( Guest Blog Written by: Mattie Scribblez )
Nudism and Girlhood Adolescence and Sexuality:
Girlhood Adolescence and Sexuality – My first exposure to nudity was obviously when I was a very young child. In my family, nudity was not a big deal. Infants, toddlers, and young children had the freedom to run around naked, or in my case quite often – topless. Even the adults in my family casually walked to and from the shower unclothed.
My first real memory of being nude in public was when I was 5 years old. My family was vacationing in the Bahamas. I had been riding on the back of my mother’s moped when she skidded out on some gravel while making a right hand turn. The both of us had massive abrasions going up and down our legs. On top of that, we had left the bathing suits behind. The wound on my leg was filthy. My parents insisted that I go take a dip in the ocean. I remember protesting because I did not have a bathing suit, but eventually obliged. I recall looking down the beach to see if anyone could see me. I was both embarrassed and excited by the thought of strangers seeing me nude. The water felt good on my bare skin. I felt free and at one with the ocean – like a fish!
Perhaps this memory sparked my nudist and exhibitionist tendencies that I began to display as a preteen. My girlfriends and I found delight in flashing our developing breasts in public. I snuck off to nude beaches and went skinny dipping whenever I could. At such an awkward age it was often difficult for me to differentiate between nudity and sexuality. I began engaging in promiscuous acts at the young age of 12.
At this point in my life I have come to accept the fact that I am just a very sexual person. I have a high sexual appetite. I have come to accept this as who I am. My biological composition is the reason for my sex drive. I am not an amoral person because of my hormones, as I thought I was when I was growing up. Sex is natural.
Religion and societal opinion helped promote the development of self-loathing in reference to my sexuality. As a Catholic female I thought of myself as a sinner, a slut, a whore, dirty and undesirable because of my sexual curiosity. Such a low self-esteem eventually landed me in the psychiatric ward, which only perpetuated my stigmatization. Not only was I a dirty slut, now I was crazy too! I internalized these negative images of myself and retreated into isolation.
It wasn’t until I moved to the mountains when I finally found myself. Through a combination of the aesthetic beauty of the great outdoors and the thrill of adrenaline-pumping activities, I was able to find my peace in life. It was this love of outdoor adventure sports and my inherent comfort with nudity that eventually led me to this community of naturists.
Obviously today I have developed the ability to differentiate between nudity and sexuality, but am also aware of the connection between the two of them. In my opinion, they are not two separate compartmentalized terms. Being that I am new to nudism and the naturist community, I am unclear about what the social norms are concerning sexuality among naturists. From what I’ve heard it is generally frowned upon. However, I was under the impressions that one of the main concepts of naturism is the acceptance of what is natural. If my sex drive is naturally high, will I be frowned upon in the nudist community?