The Top 15 Weirdest Naked Stock Images and Nude Photos

| November 12, 2013 | 2 Comments

 Top 15 Weirdest / Most Awkward Naked Stock Images & Nude Photos

Nude Photos – I tend to stay away from stock image websites when I need a naked photo.  Why?  Because their photos mainly show thin, airbrushed women coyly posing and trying to look sexy without revealing a nipple or any crotch.  They call it “implied nudity.”  The male nude photos are usually very masculine, displaying muscular backsides and butts.  

Case in point:

shutterstock nude photos stock images naked woman

They often use “beautiful” as a descriptor for these types of photos with this type of body.  You can actually deduce quite a bit about our culture by looking at stock images, I think.  Anyway theses images are all really boring.  We know why they’re like that — it’s to sell to the mainstream media.  As you’d guess, I’m usually searching for the opposite type of photo — un-airbrushed bodies in natural poses and showing all the bits.  

But, stock images can be good for one thing – entertainment!  Inspired by memes such as “Women Laughing Alone With Salad” and galleries of awkward stock photos, I decided to curate my own collection of the weirdest “naked” stock photos I could find.  Some are even showing full nudity.  But part of the hilarity and awkwardness of the some of these photos is how they choose to cover the genitals.  Some I have captioned with explanation, others I leave up to your interpretation.  Without further ado, here is my collection!  

 shutterstock nude photos

Gee, Billy, how do you get that hat to stay there like that?

 

Shutterstock Man With Barbell nude photos

Champion of Japan’s Penis Olympics

 

inmagine nude photos woman deer

People always ask, “What do nudists do in the winter?”  Now you know.  Sorry deer, nudies gotta stay warm.

 

shutterstock nude photos woman spaghetti

Mmmm, spaghetti.

 

getty images nude photos man butt body

Title: “Naked mature man.”  Nothing out of the ordinary here.

 

shutterstock nude photos woman laundry basket

 

getty images nude photos man plastic wrap parking garage

Yeah, that’s plastic wrap.  ….

 

Then there are these really uncomfortable looking bathroom poses. 

Getty Images nude photos bathroom woman man naked

Getty images stock nude photos woman man naked bathroom

 

envato stock images nude photos adam eve

Why is she offering him her half-eaten apple?  Why does Adam look like a zombie?  So many questions.

 

shutterstock nude photos naked baby squirrel

It would seem this image is no longer on Shutterstock, so I wish I knew the original title. Here’s mine: Nude baby at Christmas time with Squirrel

 shutterstock nude photos robot man butt

Girl, you better get your ass outta there.

 

getty images nude photos stock image naked man cow

This is just wrong.

 

 corbis nude photos stock images couple naked tin can

 

shutterstock woman clone nude photos naked stock image

It’s a good thing I had the title to help me on this one – it’s “Woman Escape From Human Cloning Factory.”  But that doesn’t look like a real escape..

Honorable Mention

corbis stock photo man wearing large plastic phallus nude photos

This differs from the other nude photos in that its awkwardness is not fabricated.  It’s a real-life photo taken during a famous U.S. festival.  Can you guess which one?

That’s it!  Hope you enjoyed my selection :)  Special thanks to the Awkward Stock Photos blog for some of these images.

Young Naturists & Nudists America

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Category: Felicity's Nudist Blog By Felicity Jones

About the Author ()

I'm Felicity Jones, author of Felicity's Blog and co-founder of Young Naturists America. I write about nudism and naturism in today's world along with issues like top-freedom and body acceptance, and various naked topics. Enjoy, and please leave a comment when you've got something to say! :)
2 comments
tinka023
tinka023

Nude baby at Christmas time with Squirrel - it's actually a Hamster.

All-Nudist
All-Nudist

Lol!  Good choices!  Isn't it funny that the guy at the end wearing the fake phallus could legally walk down the street that way, but a guy with a lot less noticeable but real 'package' could not?  Go figure.